The Unrelenting Voice

In my short time on this planet so far I have had experiences that many for a lifetime search for - moments of clarity and glimpses of my inner self that one can only describe as intense meditation. With these I came to conclude that deep within myself was something destructive. An invading force that did not belong there and it was growing. No solution I had been given by any person or organization in my life made any sense some even made the invading force within me worse. So I began a search, one that would last for many years and would take me to many different places. What I learned and what I saw was so life changing and so startling that I almost lost my own mind. I was angry and depressed. Terms like military industrial complex, fractional reserve banking system, the corporate takeover of governments, and the scientific theories that could solve the problems that they create all washed over me as I began to understand them. This invading force inside me wasn’t something that I had done to myself but it was an outside influence brought on by the society that had raised and conditioned me. As angry as I was at these destructive systems I was more angry at the people who had for a century now allowed these systems to perpetuate their influence across the Earth like the most deadliest of plagues.

My anger was so severe that I would lash out at anyone who thought they knew better and tell them why they were wrong. However since even questioning the status quo was so foreign to so many I was labeled a conspiracy theorist or a crazy person; not that my approach helped any. How arrogant I was to presume I would be met with understanding and serious consideration and how arrogant I was to presume that I could change them against their will because what I thought was better than what they thought. I laugh at it now but at the time I was young and i felt like an outsider and depressed. All I wanted to do was yell out loud in the biggest crowd I could find and say, “STOP MOVING SO FAST! STOP AND LOOK AROUND YOU! LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE DOING! IS THAT MORE IMPORTANT THAN STOPPING US FROM KILLING EACH OTHER DAY AFTER DAY OR SAVING THE MILLIONS WHO STARVE ACROSS THE PLANET! ARE YOUR OWN SELFISH NEEDS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE NEEDS OF OTHERS AROUND THIS WORLD THAT SUFFER EACH DAY BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ALLOW TO HAPPEN IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD! WAKE UP!” A bit grandiose I admit but the truth never lies but I was too smart or maybe just too embarrassed to actually do it. I still wish I could do that though. I dream of a world I will never see and that I will never belong in.

I am corrupted by this world and change is too slow for me to see a new world rise from the ashes of this one but it would be too fast if I were to wake up to a world tomorrow in which all wars were ended, money no longer determined how well you lived your life, religion no longer dictated how to live your life, and the human race now took on the challenge to better themselves for the dialogs yet to come.

So what am I to do? I only get one life and one chance. Do I become the problems in this world or do I try to solve them? I speak as though I might tip the balance of power either way depending on which I choose and as much as I would like to flatter myself with that prospect I would rather think I choose for you, the reader, as well as myself. Alas I have no answer for you - yet - but you can clearly see which side I lean towards. The advice I would give you if you come to this choice, like I have, is ask yourself this question: Who are you? If you answer that question with something someone else did or said to inspire or describe you in some way then you have failed to answer it. This is not because those things are bad or wrong, it is because who you really are is not any of those things. Those things are only a reflection others use to associate your life with theirs so they can understand you better. Only you will know who you really are, only you will fully understand it, and only you will know once you have correctly answered the question. So I guess we all have a choice to make now?

The Unrelenting Voice

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sam, 02/18/2012 - 6:19pm | Precise and impacting (Score: 1)
dim, 02/19/2012 - 8:07am | Thank you. (Score: 1)
mar, 02/21/2012 - 9:34am | I share this voice.. Much (Score: 1)