In my short time on this planet so far I have had experiences that many for a lifetime search for - moments of clarity and glimpses of my inner self that one can only describe as intense meditation. With these I came to conclude that deep within myself was something destructive. An invading force that did not belong there and it was growing. No solution I had been given by any person or organization in my life made any sense some even made the invading force within me worse. So I began a search, one that would last for many years and would take me to many different places.